A little about me…
It’s been a long time since I started writing, I don’t do it to snub my blog but because the new project is so absorbing to me in an important way. In these weeks I seem to be a loose cannon that splashes left and right to try to do everything in a short time and finally see all the effort of these last months take shape. Unfortunately, as much as I love writing at the moment it becomes difficult to find the time to do it and yet I miss it. I miss putting my thoughts on paper so much. I would like even more than usual because every day things happen to me that I would like to tell and especially read again in a while to remember where I started from, everything I’ve lived and… I hope… where I’ve arrived.
A few days ago I saw my website for the first time. I was sitting on my couch with the professional who’s working on it. It’s still a “demo” version to work on and customize. I still have to include all the stuff that I’m preparing and sending, but I was already fascinated.
I was looking at it with the eyes of those who see something big, fascinating and almost unreachable because I had the feeling I was working with the usual enthusiasm, which has never failed in any area I have tried, but still “third party”.
Instead this time it was ME. I was the one asking for MY changes. I’m the one driving and holding the rudder. I’m the one who appears on that website. It’s MY site, my project and my future.
My successes and failures will be mine because there will be many, but it is something that exists now.
It was something that has been brooding inside of me for a lifetime, I hadn’t yet got the right skills and the courage to leave but I think that whatever step I had taken until now was already leading me in this direction.
Now the ideas are in the right place and the time is in the right place. Now there’s all this, there’s a crazy energy inside me even if the tiredness is felt, the fear of not being able to do everything is just around the corner.
What gives me particular strength to go on is the feedback I’m getting. Everyone is enthusiastic about the project. They listen to me and after having understood where I start from I explain it with the utmost humility, but above all where I want to arrive and with what tools they decide to be part of this crazy undertaking.
I see in the eyes of my interlocutors that little light that lights up and then I understand that this is the right way. Not the easiest one, other ones would be, but I will not follow them. I have never walked down the roads and this time I feel that, no matter how steep the climb, I will be able to get to the top and when I have done so I will know that the forces were all mine and then, however it goes, I will look back proud of that climb.
I have the right people next to me. They believe in me, they are travelling on the same track as me and this appreciation for me and what I do gives me even more courage to go forward. Every word of support I receive comes from the heart, not just to make Sabrina happy.
Probably when I speak, when I explain, it is I who believes in the project and this does not go unnoticed by other people’s eyes and ears.
I start talking about my project and I can give it a name, I can give it a precise connotation and after a first moment almost of embarrassment that I had when I talked about it the first time, today I spontaneously use some terms and phrases. Nothing is built, everything comes from time to time. Every reasoning is created on the basis of meetings I have and interactions with people.
Every project that is coming out and that is going to compose this strange puzzle called “site” is the result of encounters, meetings, studies and insights.
It’s the result of many years of experience during which I for one did not believe in myself because I’m always too used to work for others and to let myself be influenced by their ideas and attitudes. Today, this no longer happens. Although I am firmly convinced that one never stops studying and learning, today I make my professional figure count.
Today I am a “General Manager” of something that is coming out maybe even bigger than I thought it could be at the beginning of this adventure.
“The beginning.” It seems like who knows when I’m talking about it, but it’s only been two months since ideas started to take shape and I started working on them seriously. I went through sleepless nights, thoughts that gripped me, distrust in myself and in the future. I have gone through the economic difficulties of not being able to make it to ask for support from real professionals, to the evaluation of doing everything on my own, even acquiring skills unknown to me.
When then, slowly, everything was taking shape and the amount of work was getting bigger and bigger, I pulled the oars in the boat and decided. It was time to invest in all senses in this “creature”. I decided to do it because the project has a solid foundation. It won’t be a crisis like the Covid one to stop me, on the contrary it’s time to think about something that must take a different connotation so that the quality of what I’m going to offer has even greater value.
And so today, returning from a hot afternoon of hellish heat around a Rome where the traffic shyly began to reappear, I broke through three other important barriers. I’ve laid the foundations for further projects and collaborations and I’ve made someone initially skeptical who now not only believes in my project but wants to help me expand my opportunities for collaboration even further.
That’s what I’ve been looking for all my life. This is what gives me the strength to still be at the computer and come back to writing after days and days of silence at a late hour of the evening after I had neither lunch nor dinner. This is the biggest “payment” I have ever received in my life. Because although the goal is to start earning money with my “company” tonight, at 11:20 p.m. on July 6th, I feel like the richest woman in the world.